So now i'm typing the keyboard with a pair of almost frozen hands. These nights have been raining cats and dogs, but i don't mind as long as the night is cosy (: These days were tough, facing situations that went out of control, friendships went cold which happen to a really important friend, the others i don't really care, guess they just needed me for that time being. Tests came crushing non-stop, i were quite disappointed with my UT1 (Understanding test 1) results, i didn't work hard enough to deserve good grades. Now UT2 is coming on it's way, really hope it goes well this time! Ohya, i'm really excited and looking forward to the upcoming Cebu Blending trip this December! It's been long since i went Zone 5 overseas blending trip, missed last year's cause i've training to attend to. Well, this year's gonna be a blast with all the fun people like Yang, Tiffany, Fedora, Gabriel, Celine etc etc! Hahahaha but first i need to concentrate on 3 modules for UT2, pray hard. Anyway Christmas is around the corner, and Starbucks is back with their Toffee Nut Latte!<3 Aw, i missed it so much.

Sigh.. So this is how it turned out to be. I don't even know how should i feel, what should i do, someone please help me out. Right now all i can feel is hatred, sadness, helpless, cheated etc etc. The more i think of it the more i want to breakdown. Lmr, you must stop all the bullshits! No one can understand how i feel, i wanted to hate him so much but i can't stay mad at him, but at the same time i can't just let all the things be the way they are. I can't pretend nothing happened. So useless. It's not that i don't trust him i just don't know if i should trust or not. On one hand i trusted him that he's not such a person but on the other hand whenever i thought of it, i can't help but i just can't deny what i've saw. & now i'm damn guilty for the way i find things out. But just because that moment of anger i told him i'm not guilty at all. Argh? Everything happened too fast, I need some time.

Enough is enough. Actually all these while i've realized that i've been wanting to move on but the fact is, i never really try to force myself to do it. & the reason for that is because i flooded myself with positive thoughts and false hopes. From the start, i gave myself three months to fully let go, i thought it's more than enough time for me but hahaha now i'm left with 1 month -.- Gonna speed up my progress! I'm not gonna be stuck in the past anymore, it's just a chapter in the past, that's all. Come on i believe i can do it.

Recently people are pissing me off! Just because i don't show my anger and chose to remain quiet and calm, talking back nicely to you doesn't mean you can continue to accuse me, talking back rudely as if im your maid, even tell all the bad stuffs you assume me doing it to other INFRONT OF MY FACE, HELLO you think im deaf?!  Didn't i explained to you alr? I have my limit too and i hate people who took me for granted fuck em all. & those people who pissed me off till the extent i started shouting and scolding in their face,they went laughing away and pretend nothing happened. WTF?!

I guess i'm really healing, not that i'm totally got over him but at least i don't get hard core emotional that often anymore, which is awesomeeeeee ~ ! I really wish i can put all these aside as soon as possible but sometimes i don't get why i'm still can't bear to let go. Damn it, i need to wake up though i'd rather stay in that dream. & i am definitely not alone! The Lord and the saints are always with me.

Recently, my class out of a sudden is having increasing conflicts-.- I don't know why seriously it all started from small matters to misunderstanding to etc etc , gahhhh don't wna talk about it i'm not any victims anyway. But i think it's really epic and amazing how things can get to such big matter. -.-

This is seriously killing me. I thought I'm getting stronger day after day but it just stab me more and more It's so hurtful, just feeling so miserable. I've already mentally prepared for all this but why it still so sudden and unexpected to me, such a failure! Until now i still can't accept the fact that I'm going through this. There is no reason for me to hold on anymore, but i just can't let go. I am so damn useless.

Oh my geee, upcoming tests are driving me crazy, especially math and science! But still, i prefer to be like this, to have a busy life. Busy till i don't have time to think so much. Lmr, you need to start afresh, start studying don't turn back! Keep move on, move on...

My cousin just returned me my old phone after months and i realised the whole records of old smses inside, tsk. Retardedly i spent half an hour reading through the conversation between him and i, some were really epic xD it sure bring back memories, but well it's all in the past and i shall not bring it with me in the future. Someone once told me " Time doesn't heal, you heal yourself. Everyday is a new day."

Conferences never fail to enlighten me ! Love it love it xoxo. Yes, i'm back from the youth conference! Even though i'm only a part timer, but i still enjoy it and gain much of Christ! & i really hope that i won't have to attend school during that period, it was so tough to wake up extra early for three morning just to go to sch, tsk. But it's okay! It's my confinement, praise the Lord! (:
Through this conference, i really thank the Lord for everything. I've realised that i really need to redeem my time and build the ark! The time is near, i need to be useful to the Lord to bring him back.

Totally speechless and disappointed, i've no right to say anything.

Just a random post

I love the weather today <3. Rain the whole day please.Feel so calm and peaceful after listening to hymns on the way to sch :> In the classroom now waiting for lesson to start, OB test later, pray for me yeah hehe.

The great four pillars in the Lord's recovery: Truth, Life, Church, Gospel !

May we be the pillars in the house of God. :)

Campus conference 2011 !

School has been really exhausted for me grrrrr but luckily i have my crazy classmates and schoolmates to pull it through with me, they are really awesome people, we work hard together, got shooted by the faciliators together, play, get noisy get wild get crazy together.Can't believe we're changing class next semester awww ):

I've been occupied by many stuffs recently, gonna stop all these and don't give a damn anymore alhough it's hard to put down, hope i mean what i said ><  Praise the Lord there's campus conference tomorrow, finally i can put down everything , rest and enjoy the Lord.

Why am i laughing when i'm sad?! This is what i really call "mixed emotions".

SOH Freshmen camp!

SOH(Sch Of Hospitality) Freshmen camp is just awesome ! & I love A Team <3 Quite shocking that we won the champion, so proud of us ^^ Most importantly i made new friends, they are nice and friendly :> Haha never regretted going the camp alone! Expecting more excitement and fun for Orientation Camp! Whoo can't wait ! <3 Republic Poly.

Yesterday night meet up with Emilee Foxy, Zan and Davina :>

 Went over to Old Airport for Dinner/Supper at Davina's parents' stall. 

Yum yum. Super full and bloated we can't finish our food. 

Headed over to Nex at Serangoon, sky garden and Sogurt ! 

As usual, Emily that fox somehow spammed   her yogurt again and it costed her $7 plus. HAHAHA She was super frustrated. 

Kay, srsly i'm gonna rot to death. Where are all the church blendings and outings?! Grrrr. I'm such a failure, i should join some courses soon! Two months plus(?) till poly life starts, gawd, still so long ): Looking forward to it's arrival hahaha. 

 Yesterday my whole family went to Pulau Tekong to send bro off for his army and have a tour around their bases and camps.

The weather was a killer. ZZZ.

 Enlistees doing their pledge .

 Tasting the army food for lunch.

 Mum, Dad and Bro

 Enlistees getting ready to check in.

Bye ~

 Pulau Tekong Island. 

 On board.

Overall the trip is kinda inspirational. It gave me a whole new impression of Army life and it shows how Singapore is well defensed and prepared. So proud of SAF!

Yesterday was the day of the secret mission, that is to give Daisy a farewell surprise! 

Everything is well prepared and it's a success :> 

Mother Foxxxy.

Daisy's act cute pose !

Overall it was great and the video is sooo touching aww that led to tears on Daisy's cheek.

Gonna have the first Jc/Poly/ITE meeting later , pray hard small aunt don't call me for work today ! ):