So now i'm typing the keyboard with a pair of almost frozen hands. These nights have been raining cats and dogs, but i don't mind as long as the night is cosy (: These days were tough, facing situations that went out of control, friendships went cold which happen to a really important friend, the others i don't really care, guess they just needed me for that time being. Tests came crushing non-stop, i were quite disappointed with my UT1 (Understanding test 1) results, i didn't work hard enough to deserve good grades. Now UT2 is coming on it's way, really hope it goes well this time! Ohya, i'm really excited and looking forward to the upcoming Cebu Blending trip this December! It's been long since i went Zone 5 overseas blending trip, missed last year's cause i've training to attend to. Well, this year's gonna be a blast with all the fun people like Yang, Tiffany, Fedora, Gabriel, Celine etc etc! Hahahaha but first i need to concentrate on 3 modules for UT2, pray hard. Anyway Christmas is around the corner, and Starbucks is back with their Toffee Nut Latte!<3 Aw, i missed it so much.

Sigh.. So this is how it turned out to be. I don't even know how should i feel, what should i do, someone please help me out. Right now all i can feel is hatred, sadness, helpless, cheated etc etc. The more i think of it the more i want to breakdown. Lmr, you must stop all the bullshits! No one can understand how i feel, i wanted to hate him so much but i can't stay mad at him, but at the same time i can't just let all the things be the way they are. I can't pretend nothing happened. So useless. It's not that i don't trust him i just don't know if i should trust or not. On one hand i trusted him that he's not such a person but on the other hand whenever i thought of it, i can't help but i just can't deny what i've saw. & now i'm damn guilty for the way i find things out. But just because that moment of anger i told him i'm not guilty at all. Argh? Everything happened too fast, I need some time.

Enough is enough. Actually all these while i've realized that i've been wanting to move on but the fact is, i never really try to force myself to do it. & the reason for that is because i flooded myself with positive thoughts and false hopes. From the start, i gave myself three months to fully let go, i thought it's more than enough time for me but hahaha now i'm left with 1 month -.- Gonna speed up my progress! I'm not gonna be stuck in the past anymore, it's just a chapter in the past, that's all. Come on i believe i can do it.

Recently people are pissing me off! Just because i don't show my anger and chose to remain quiet and calm, talking back nicely to you doesn't mean you can continue to accuse me, talking back rudely as if im your maid, even tell all the bad stuffs you assume me doing it to other INFRONT OF MY FACE, HELLO you think im deaf?!  Didn't i explained to you alr? I have my limit too and i hate people who took me for granted fuck em all. & those people who pissed me off till the extent i started shouting and scolding in their face,they went laughing away and pretend nothing happened. WTF?!

I guess i'm really healing, not that i'm totally got over him but at least i don't get hard core emotional that often anymore, which is awesomeeeeee ~ ! I really wish i can put all these aside as soon as possible but sometimes i don't get why i'm still can't bear to let go. Damn it, i need to wake up though i'd rather stay in that dream. & i am definitely not alone! The Lord and the saints are always with me.

Recently, my class out of a sudden is having increasing conflicts-.- I don't know why seriously it all started from small matters to misunderstanding to etc etc , gahhhh don't wna talk about it i'm not any victims anyway. But i think it's really epic and amazing how things can get to such big matter. -.-